


Hetalia meets the Ouran Host Club

by MrsLuigiVargas



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Friendship, Gen, Humor, also Romano says a few bad words but its probably fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 05:38:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsLuigiVargas/pseuds/MrsLuigiVargas
Summary: The Host Club and the Nations meet! They all become friends (eventually)! Nothing goes wrong (mostly)! They hang out and have a fun time! It's great!





	1. The Initial Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this fic is probably super antiquated in terms of characterization (I wrote this in 2012, if that gives you an idea of it! Yikes!) but I reread it recently and thought it was funny so here it is! It's quite silly, but I cant get too mad at it...

The Ouran High School Host Club was not originally planning on taking a vacation in the Arctic. However, Tamaki wanted to see two things in the Arctic: the Northern Lights and penguins. (A/N: There are no penguins in the Arctic).

Presently, Haruhi was running away from the host club, more specifically, Tamaki. The reason? "Haruhi, you need to wear this warm and fuzzy dress! You would look so cute in it!"

"I don't wear dresses, and that dress is no exception!"

So Haruhi ran into a random building, and burst into a random room. Tamaki ran in after her yelling, "Haruhi!" loudly and annoyingly while twirling her around in a death hug. The remaining host club members ran in after them and Mori pried Haruhi out of Tamaki's grip. Honey asked, "Are you okay, Haru-chan?" Then the host club finally noticed that the room they burst into was already occupied. Cue awkward silence. The two groups of people stared at each other.

**~xxx~**

Tamaki walked over to Liechtenstein and held out a rose (where did he get that?) towards her, smiling gallantly at the young girl. Switzerland, being the overprotective big brother that he is, aimed his gun at Tamaki's face, glaring. Tamaki just stood there, frozen and internally panicking. The twins had to drag Tamaki away from the scene.

"Bloody hell, there's another France…"

"Yes, I am half French," Tamaki replied, missing the point. France laughed.

"Ohonhonhonhon, maybe we can team up to spread love to-"

"Oh no you don't, you bloody frog!"

"You can't stop me, black sheep of Europe!"

"Why you-" Pretty soon the two were at each other's throats like usual. Meanwhile, Hikaru and Kaoru were scheming about how to prank their newest target.

"Hey, you!"

Italy looked up from his drawing (he knew he should have been taking notes on the meeting, but still…) to see the twins pointing at him. He looked up.

The identical twins smirked. "Want to play a game?"

Italy beamed. "I like games! Yeah, let's play!"

"All right," the twins donned hats and posed identically. "Let's play the 'Which one is Hikaru game!'"

Italy watched the synchronized boys in wonder. "Ve~ how do I play?"

"You just have to guess…"

"…which one of us is Hikaru!"

"Oh, okay! Um…um... uh…" Italy started to panic; they looked so similar! "Um…uh…him!" He pointed to the one on the right.

"Uh oh, you got it wrong~!" The twins laughed. "Try again!"

Italy, figuring out that they did not switch positions after his first guess, beamed. "Oh, so it's you!" he exclaimed, pointing at the other twin.

"Uh oh, you got it wrong~!" the twins sang. They laughed again, almost mockingly this time.

"Wh-what? But..." Italy's eyes welled up with tears, which started to spill over onto his cheeks.

Across the room, Romano was busy warding off Spain's 'unwanted' affection. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his brother sobbing and the two twins laughing at him. He immediately got angry.

"What do you think you bastards are doing to my fratello!" he yelled running towards them.

Hikaru and Kaoru cocked their heads. "Fratello?"

But before they could ponder things further, Kaoru got a head-butt to the stomach, courtesy of Romano.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru cried, running over to his twin. Faces one inch apart from each other's, Hikaru over Kaoru, Kaoru's tears dripping from his face, Hikaru asked, "Kaoru! Are you ok!?"

Romano and Italy (who still had tears running down his face) confusedly watched the twins while listening to the dramatic music that suddenly started playing from thin air. Romano's face soon settled into its usual scowl. "What the hell? Are you twin bastards dating or something?" Cue (rather loud) record scratch.

Haruhi walked by. "Well..."

Hikaru and Kaoru and Romano blinked. "Che," Romano commented. "Those twin bastards really are pathetic, aren't they?"

Hikaru yelled and tackled Romano, which started a bit of a scuffle. The fighters managed to not only punch and kick each other, but they managed to throw random objects, including the cups of water resting on the meeting table. As you may guess, not all of the projectiles hit their intended targets. Meaning, some hit other nations, which resulted in other fights. For example, an eraser would sail and hit Turkey on the side of his head, Turkey would think Greece threw it, Turkey yells at Greece, Greece yells at Turkey, Turkey yells back, the yelling match starts, they go for each other's throats, and Japan is left trying in vain to stop them from killing each other. The fact that England and France were fighting in almost the exact same way didn't help either.

While these events were taking place, Tamaki spotted Ukraine hovering near the far wall, away from the scuffles. He immediately ran over and pulled the same schtick as before, handing her a rose with a disarming smile. Ukraine accepted the offering, flustered but a bit flattered.

Suddenly, the temperature of the room dropped at least ten degrees. Russia appeared behind Tamaki, creepy aura, pickax, faucet pipe, and all.

"You should stay away from my older sister, da?

Tamaki paled. "Ah…I'm sure that this is one big misunderstand-" he bolted, and unfortunately for him, Russia was right behind, weapons at the ready. Tamaki ran and hid behind Kyouya. "Help me!"

Kyouya simply stepped away to the other side of Germany and resumed their conversation about how stupid and idiotic some of their acquaintances and friends are (i.e. Tamaki and Italy). Tamaki kept running, sneezing once or twice (or ten times).

Honey and Mori were chatting, or rather Honey was rambling and Mori was quietly listening, when Finland walked up to Honey "Hello, what's your name? Mine's….Tino!"

"Hi I'm Honey and I like cake do you like cake I have chocolate and strawberry and vanilla and more chocolate and chocolate with strawberries on top! Do you want some cake?"

Finland smiled. "I'll have the vanilla cake then."

As Finland and Honey bonded over cake, Sweden and Mori stood next to each other, watching their charges. Mori turned to Sweden. "Hi."

"Hi."

"…" Mori replied.

"Hello!" Finland interjected awkwardly.

As the quartet's discussion became longer, the fighting around them continued to intensify by the minute. Germany found it harder and harder to concentrate on his and Kyouya's conversation. Finally, the noise and chaos level reached an all-time high, and Germany couldn't take it anymore.

" _ **EVERYONE SHUT UP!**_ " He yelled. Kyouya looked at Germany with an expression that clearly said, "That was my **ear**." Germany's rant continued, getting louder by the second. Everyone stopped, surprised (including Russia, which allowed Tamaki to run away and hide). The rant went on for what seemed like hours.

"Doitsu~," Italy interrupted. "Don't be so upset! Do you want some pasta~?" He held up a plate of spaghetti to Germany's face.

As Germany turned to yell at Italy for interrupting him, Haruhi spoke up. "Hey, your name is Germany? That's a strange name..."

The nations in the room froze in alarm. "Oh, it's...it's only a nickname, aru," China quickly said, attempting to cover for Italy's slip up.

Unfortunately, being the oblivious idiot that he was, America, not hearing China's response, gave one of his own. "Hey, what kind of nation doesn't go by their name?" All the nations nearest to him turned and smacked him upside the head. America fell over, in pain.

Honey blinked. "Why did he say nation?" he asked.

"Well," England sighed, giving up hope that their secret could remain undiscovered, "We are the personifications of the Axis Powers, Allied Forces, and a bunch of other countries in the world."

"Oh. So, who's who?"

An "I'M THE HERO!" came from across the room.

"Shut up America!" England yelled back. Germany sighed.

"Ask as you walk around; the chaos is returning." Honey nodded, smiling.

"What are you kids even doing here, aru? Shouldn't you be in school?" China asked.

"We are students who attend Ouran Elite Private Academy," Kyouya explained. "School has let out for the summer and Tamaki here," he gestured vaguely to where Tamaki was crouching behind a chair, "wanted to spend some of our summer break looking for the Northern Lights and penguins."

Canada walked up to Tamaki. "Um...there aren't any penguins in the Arctic...you're better off looking somewhere else..."

Tamaki didn't hear him. Instead, he dashed off to accost a nearby Hungary, leaving Canada standing there, ignored once again.

"Who are you?" asked Kumajiro.

"I'm Canada..."

Russia moved to stand in front of Tamaki, stopping him from reaching Hungary. "Aren't you a stupid one! There are no penguins in the Arctic!" he said with a giggle, ignoring (or not seeing) Tamaki flinch back from him in fear. When Russia's words caught up with him though...

"There...there aren't any...?" Tamaki asked distantly.

"No?" "Nope!" "Of course not! Are you daft?" "Uh-uh..." About every nation in the room (even the ones that were currently fighting) simultaneously confirmed what Russia just said. Tamaki teared up and ran off to mope in his emo-corner.

From his emo-corner, he looked up at Kyouya with puppy-dog eyes. "But-but Kyouya, you-you-you-penguins!"

"Tamaki, I told you no such thing," Kyouya said, amused, not even looking up from writing in his signature black notebook.

**_~CUE KYOUYA FLASHBACK~_ **

The Host Club was sitting in the 'abandoned' music room three at Ouran Academy. Honey was napping, Mori watching Honey, Haruhi was doing her math homework, Kyouya was writing (as usual) in his black notebook, and the twins were…playing tic-tac-toe? Anyway….

Tamaki was sitting in a chair, looking out the window, bored because he had no idea what he was going to waste his summer doing. He wanted a Host Club field trip again (So he didn't have to leave Haruhi behind…). Suddenly, he bolted upright and leapt out of his chair, running over to the table where Kyouya was sitting, all alone, set off from the world, in peace.

"Mommy, I have the perfect idea for a family vacation. Including the neighbors!" Tamaki cried. "Oh really, Daddy? Where might this trip be?" Kyouya asked, not looking up. And how much is it going to cost this time?

"The Arctic Circle!" Tamaki cried happily.

Kyouya looked up at Tamaki. He made the mistake of asking, "And why would the Host Club be taking their _summer_ vacation in the _Arctic_ Circle?"

"Because it is the perfect place to be! I mean, it has the Northern Lights and penguins!" Tamaki cried loudly.

"Boss, are you trying to wake up Honey?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked simultaneously, making Tamaki quiet down a decibel or two.

"But Tamaki, the Aurora Borealis, aka the Northern Lights, is better seen in the winter, and besides, there are no-" he suddenly sighed loudly, pushing his glasses up tiredly. "Oh, alright. To the Arctic we shall go."

**_~END KYOUYA FLASHBACK~_ **

"So, no, there are no penguins in the Arctic..."

Tamaki dejectedly moped in his emo-corner.

"The awesome me will-"

"Do nothing!" Germany interjected. "Stay there, and don't cause trouble."

"But-"

"No."

Prussia joined Tamaki in his emo-corner. There, they had a short discussion.

"Oi! Guess what, Spain! The awesome me has a new friend for our trio!"

France sighed. "Well, I suppose we're not a trio anymore..."

"Hey," Haruhi said, catching Tamaki's attention, "If there are no penguins and no Northern Lights, then we need to go." The host club regrouped back by the door. "Thank you for not kicking us out," Kyouya called out as they left.

The conference room was silent for a minute or two.

"Ouran…Academy?" Japan broke the silence.

"Can we visit? Please?" America begged. France shrugged.

"I guess...if we ever go to Japan…"

 


	2. A Reunion!

It was another sunny afternoon at Ouran Academy, and the twins were busy carefully selecting costumes for the next Host Club meeting. "How about…this?"

"No," Haruhi replied.

"This?"

"No."

"This?"

"…it's still a no." Haruhi spotted a Japan costume and grabbed it. "I'll wear this." Then she ran off to change.

Tamaki twirled around to face the twins, his cloak billowing out around him. "Where's Haruhi?"

"She went to go dress up…” “…as Japan."

"Why didn't she wear…this!" he said, proudly whipping out a Seychelles outfit. The twins blinked and looked at each other.

"Well that's anticlimactic," they said in unison. Tamaki looked down, shocked, and threw the outfit back into the large box of costumes.

[Who's who:

Tamaki=France

Haruhi=Japan

Kyoya=Germany

Hikaru=Romano

Kaoru=Italy

Honey=Finland

Mori=Sweden]

Tamaki continued twirling…twirling…twirling, so interested by his cloak that he CRASHED into a wall.

"You ok, Boss?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked, not really caring. They started to laugh.

**~xxx~**

The former Axis and Allies stood in front of Ouran Academy, torn between gawking at the size of the building or the color of it. After the initial shock, they all turned to Japan.

A flash of annoyance crossed his eyes. "I did not build this school, you know."

England smirked. "Okay, chap."

Japan was very tempted to scowl. He decided to think about why they were here in the first place.

**_-CUE JAPAN FLASHBACK-_ **

"Guys, we should totally visit Ouran Academy!" America cried.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Germany began,

"But it could be interesting, da?" Russia interrupted.

"Yeah!" America cheered. "I'll get the uniforms so we can sneak in! ‘Cause I'm the hero!" He ran out the door.

Japan turned to the other nations. "America-kun and I will get the uniforms for us then. We will meet up later." He left, going after America, leaving the other nations to wander around until the two returned with the uniforms.

**_-END JAPAN FLASHBACK-_ **

"Hey, Japan, America," China started, interrupting Japan's train of thought, "How did you get the uniforms for the school in the first place, aru? I thought they only gave them to students?"

Japan's face remained neutral, but America began to look nervous. "Uhh…let's…not talk about that…"

"What are you saying, you twit?! “ England whirled around and gaped at America. “Don't tell me that you actually robbed a store or something!".

"Uhh,…hey, what are we waiting for? Let's go in! HAHAHAHA!!!” America made a mad dash for the entrance.

"Don't ignore me, git!" England ran after him, France following. Everyone else watched them leave.

"Gee, I wonder how America actually got the uniforms," Russia wondered.

"Well, Su-san and I bought ours."

The remaining six (no, seven, Canada's there) turned to see Sweden and Finland decked out in matching uniforms. Germany raised an eyebrow. "So you decided to accompany us?"

Sweden nodded.

"Ve~, let's go!" Italy ran for the entrance.

"Italy!" Germany ran after him, Romano chasing them both, swearing. Entering Ouran turned into a race, and they all disappeared into the academy.

**~xxx~**

Germany walked down the halls, watching Italy flit from one end to the other, admiring the décor. After everyone entered the enormous building, they quickly became separated from each other. Germany couldn't decide if he was lucky or unlucky that he managed to keep Italy in sight (and lose Romano in the process).

"Doitsu~! Look at this! And this! And this, and this! And this! And this! And these! And those! And this!"

_Unlucky. Definitely unlucky._

As Italy pulled Germany toward another delicate vase sitting on a pillar, a laugh rang through the air. Italy perked up and slipped away while Germany was occupied with examining it with a surprising amount of (thinly veiled) interest.

"Ohonhonhonhon…" "Ve~ Big Brother France, where are we going?"

Germany snapped upright.

"ITALY!"

**~xxx~**

France led Italy down various hallways, trying to keep away from Germany. Soon they ran into the large double doors of an abandoned looking music room.

"Ve~, what's in here?" Italy tried to push the doors open, but they barely budged. France, thinking that the room would be a good place to hide, helped Italy push the doors wide open.

What must have been hundreds of rose petals suddenly flew out and brushed their faces (enough so that poor Sealand was buried. Seriously, how did he get here? Someone should send him home).

"Welcome." A group of voices shook the two nations out of their shocked staring. They walked in, awed. All of the princesses in the room turned to see the newcomers, then promptly squealed and crowded around them, talking amongst themselves about the handsome (and cute) men.

The crowd suddenly parted, revealing a smiling Tamaki. "Hey, Francis!"

France beamed. "Mon ami! Nice clothes!" He then dramatically ripped his school uniform off to reveal the exact military uniform Tamaki was wearing.

Tamaki laughed. "Same to you!" The Frenchmen began chatting like old friends.

Italy, on the other hand, spotted Hikaru and Kaoru. "Ve~, ciao!" He ran up to the twins and glomped them both at the same time, sending the three of them to the ground. The girls in the room squealed again.

"Ciao?" the twins asked, confused.

Italy's smile didn’t falter. "It means hello in Italian, ve!"

 _Oh! It's because he's Italy, isn't it!_ The two felt a bit foolish for not figuring this out sooner. But... "Hey…Feliciano," Hikaru began, almost forgetting they had to use Italy's human name, "What does 'fratello' mean?" Kaoru finished.

"It means 'brother' in Italian, ve~"

"Ohhh... so then-.”

 “-what does 've' mean?"

“You say it a lot!”

“Almost too much if you ask me.”

When Italy finished swinging his head back and forth keeping up with the ping-pong-like speaking style of the twins, Italy paused, deep in thought. After a few moments with a (cute) thoughtful frown on his face, the Italian looked up with a grin and a shrug.

“I don’t know, ve~!”.

The twins sweatdropped. Not exactly the answer I was expecting… (But it was an answer nonetheless)

Germany walked into the music room, also in awe of what was before him. Not only were there a large number of women (which admittedly made him nervous) there were the members of Ouran Host Club, who were dressed like some of his…acquaintances. Italy spotted Germany and ran to hug him, resulting in yet another fangirl squeal (which put Germany on edge even more).

Hearing the lovely piano music in the background, Germany was suddenly reminded of his prim and proper neighbor. "I wonder how Austria is doing," he muttered to himself.

"Why don't you ask him, ve~? He's over there." Italy gestured to the piano in the back of the room before running back to his new friends, the twins, to babble on to them about various Italian things. Sure enough, Austria was playing a beautiful piano piece on the grand piano. Everyone did a double take, even Kyoya.

"How did I not see him?!" Germany shouted. At the sudden, loud noise, everyone in the room turned to look at him. Germany started to blush.

"Er…sorry?"

The female population let out a squeal for the fourth time. But this time, it was loud. Louder than all the previous episodes by a large margin. At once they ran to Germany and surrounded him, talking a mile per minute.

"Your voice is so deep!"

“Your eyes are so dreamy!"

"How does your hair stay like that?"

"Do you work out?"

Germany was absolutely frozen. He couldn't move any of his limbs, he couldn't talk, he couldn't react to anything. His brain just completely shut down, he was that overwhelmed by the women surrounding him. Which, if you look at it, is very understandable, since if someone who isn't very social at all in the first place suddenly having a couple dozen girls fussing over him all at once, wouldn't that be an extremely radical change? The fact that he wasn't comfortable around girls to begin with probably didn't help either.

Hikaru and Kaoru were trying their hardest not to laugh hysterically at Germany's face, which could give one of Spain or Romano's best tomatoes a run for its money, and so was most of the other hosts. Italy and France were just beaming. Even Kyoya and the ever-stoic Mori cracked a smile. Austria didn’t turn away from his piano, but he was definitely smirking as he played.

All of a sudden, the other countries burst into the room, all attracted by the piano music, Germany's loud yelling, and the shrieks of the girls. As soon as they witnessed Germany's dilemma, many of them too began ginning at the scene. Chuckling quietly, Japan couldn't quite resist taking a few pictures with his camera. Eventually, America and (surprisingly) Romano couldn't hold it in anymore and their laughter filled the air. The other nations started to chuckle as well (except for Sweden, he just let a small smile peek through his stoic face), and soon most of the Host Club members joined in, even Haruhi.

"HAHAHAHA! Hey dudes, look! Germany's got fangirls!" America's laughter was obviously the loudest, and the girls' attention was drawn from the German to the other men standing near the entrance. The princesses dispersed to talk to the other nations, reducing the number of bodies around Germany to three or four yellow-clad students. Eventually, Germany managed to break away from them and staggered over to Kyoya (who he noted was dressed in an exact copy of Germany's military uniform…interesting), collapsing in the chair next to him.

Kyoya stopped jotting down finances long enough to smirk at Germany. Germany scowled and looked away. Kyoya took out a pocket notebook, looked around the room at the nations (observing how they all absorbed the attention of the Host Club princesses with relative ease), and jotted some notes down in it. He then went back to working on the Host Club's finances.

Germany glanced warily at the four girls eying him with interest. He swallowed. "Ah…Kyoya?"

Kyoya looked up. "What is it, Ludwig?" he asked, slightly annoyed at being interrupted.

"Do you…need any help?"

Kyoya's annoyance faded as he watched Germany's eyes flicker from him to the girls across the room and back to him. He just needs a distraction, Kyoya realized. He didn't know why he felt such sympathy towards Germany. Perhaps it was because he wanted them to be…friends? Kyoya shook the thought out of his head. He handed Germany some bills and a piece of paper with a grid on it, telling Germany to write the dollar totals down on the paper based on month, and add them up. A simple job. But Germany looked grateful. Soon the two were able to start a light conversation about their peers, like last time they met.

Japan looked around the room and watched his fellow nations interact with the Host Club.

He watched as Kyoya and Germany did finances whilst chatting.

He spotted Tamaki and France teaming up to woo the ladies that still surrounded them.

He glanced over to his right and saw Mori, Sweden, Honey, and Finland sitting at a table eating cake while chatting, and there was a ring of girls around them.

He saw Romano and Hikaru shaking hands, possibly making up after the fight they had last time they met. Kaoru and Italy were encouraging them and soon dragged them into a four-way conversation.

Haruhi walked up to Japan with a tea tray in her hands. Japan turned to look at her. She gestured with her head at the scenes playing before them. "So, what do you think?"

Japan nervously smiled. "Uh…well… it's a bit overwhelming, to say the least."

Haruhi nodded. "Yeah, but believe it or not you get used to it."

"I can believe that."

Silence fell between them. Haruhi lifted the tray up a little. "Do you want to help me?"

“It would be impolite for me to refuse, so yes, I would," Japan responded, cocking his head. He took the tray from Haruhi's hands. "What do I do with it?"

Haruhi blinked, then told Japan what he needed to do. While they worked, they settled into a relatively light conversation.

**~xxx~**

Pretty soon, the Host Club hours were over and the customers reluctantly left. Italy waved them goodbye with a big grin as they passed, and Kaoru chuckled at his actions.

"HAHAHA! You know what? That went pretty good if I do say so myself!" America laughed. Several other countries murmured their agreement (Aside from England, who instead snarked about America’s grammar). Canada did too, although none of the others noticed him (But he was happy anyway. Some of the pretty ladies actually saw him!).

"Che. Great. So what the hell do we do now?" Romano crossed his arms and scowled.

Tamaki raised a fist. "We should go out to a (commoner) restaurant and eat! Haruhi, my daughter, direct us to your favorite one!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "I don't have a favorite restaurant, senpai."

As Tamaki began to grow mushrooms in his emo-corner, and France tried to talk him out of said corner, Haruhi turned to the others. "Got any ideas?"

"We could make the food ourselves," Sweden suggested. Mori nodded in agreement.

"But what should we make?" Honey wondered.

Italy raised his hand and waved it around. "Ooh, ooh! Me, me! Let me go!"

The Host Club sweatdropped. "Okay," Haruhi said, "I...pick you, Italy."

Italy put his hand down and grinned. "Okay, um…" He took a big breath.

Everyone leaned in closer, curious about what the nation had to suggest.

"PASTAAAAAAAA~!"

The Host Club fell to the ground in shock. The other nations, however, just sighed and shook their heads. Oh, Italy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who made it to the end, I hope this fic entertained y'all at least a little bit ^_^
> 
> Have a good day/night!


End file.
